discovering a draft post from last thanksgiving
she made me proud, that human who wrote it
but first, a little introduction—
today i’m feeling this urge to create and also purge my belongings. definitely two connected feelings—i have so many ideas and desires of projects i want to begin. there’s so much creative energy flowing through me, and i just can’t figure out how to harness it, how to focus on one thing and make it happen. and how to create while raising my son, making sure we have food on the table, finding ways to make money that doesn’t involve me overexerting myself with my very small (and at the moment, silent) business. i need to release something. i think that’s what my mind and body are saying.
and then the need to purge. same concept. i want to delete all 10 email accounts and just have one that i promise i’ll take care of and not let my subscriptions take hold without deleting them everyday. my husband is so good at that and i am absolutely not. i am the person with the email icon on her phone that reads 21,600. i want to throw out my whole wardrobe after trying things on for a photoshoot today. i want to get rid of all the little toys we’ve collected for theo because people keep giving us their hand-me-downs, which i am grateful for, but now it’s starting to overwhelm me. i am not a collector of things.
so i decided to clean out my draft folder on my substack instead because i’ll probably need those old email accounts. i’m sure they’re attached to something important and god forbid i can’t log into some account because i deleted my email address from 2010. and i can’t (currently, in this moment) run around the house throwing things into boxes to donate, maybe burning in this week’s bonfire in our backyard (kidding) because theo is napping so sweetly on my chest, all cozy in his carrier. so, yes. my substack draft folder it is.
but before i delete it all in a frenzy, i must check to ensure there aren’t any hidden gems of writing. turns out i have several posts i started and never finished. an idea that felt good in the moment and then i either never found the time to finish or talked myself out of sharing. like this one from last thanksgiving. i know what sparked it (me taking a break from my family while pregnant for mental safety reasons). i appreciate so much the headspace i was in at that time, and i feel grateful for the choices i made to ensure i could just focus on being pregnant. and it’s strange that i actually forgot that robert and i celebrated our first thanksgiving as three (one not yet earth side) in the comfort of our own space. and i forgot the dishes we made and now i’m remembering that herby chicken and i am so upset with myself for not writing down the recipe or any notes whatsoever. and apparently i was going to share the recipe for my coconut oil pie crust and who knows where that recipe is, which sucks because that was a damn good pie.
but other than that, i love the woman i was slowly transforming into that holiday season, so i want to remember her by sharing my draft exactly how she is. no edits. no nothing.
enjoy.
this post was written the day after thanksgiving, 2024.
This is a very important season of my life. Probably the most significant chapter thus far. For those who don’t know, and honestly that’s probably most of you because I’ve kept the news to mostly in-person conversations, I’m pregnant and have been enjoying every minute of it. And while my mind still seems to be catching up to all the mystical work my physical body has been doing these past five months, the mere thought of welcoming a tiny human into my life feels like the most terrifying, most transcendent venture of this lifetime.
I’ve found that, during this time, I’ve naturally inherited this need for reclaiming my peace. That has involved a big decision to step back from my all consuming small business so I can stay present in this moment. This need has brought back a desire to do things I used to do like quilt and make art and create delicious home-cooked recipes. I’m spending more time with friends and allowing myself space from people who don’t fuel my energy. I’m saying no to obligations that don’t suit me and making choices that align with our future plans.
While this little human isn’t here just yet, this holiday season seems extra important. I want to remain happy and well-balanced throughout this journey, and I want to begin making our own little family traditions, so this Thanksgiving was a nice, quiet day of cooking in the kitchen while my tiny one made his presence known with little kicks. The menu was a simple spread for two and didn’t involve any of the nonsense that comes with most holiday spreads like overly processed ingredients, gravy laden dishes, heavy casseroles. I wanted my favorite holiday dishes—elevated. So, here’s what we enjoyed:
Roasted farm fresh snap beans with a sweet onion gravy from slowed cooked onions in miso and olive oil
My favorite sweet potato casserole which is a recipe by Laura Wright of The First Mess. I don’t change much with this recipe because it’s perfect the way it is. I usually make it all holiday season long.
A bag of organic frozen cherries called for a surprise cherry pie featuring a super flaky coconut oil pie crust that I’ll have to share the recipe with you all later. Or maybe I’ll add it to the bottom of this post.
A very herby birdy: roasted organic chicken covered in a blend of fresh herbs from the farm, roasted to perfection over a bed of seasonal veggies, which made for a delectable gravy.
The end.
A simple, dreamy menu we can munch on for days.
This Thanksgiving has been one of my most favorite ones thus far. The peace and quiet, the time alone to just cook with no pressure of time. Embracing that because life is about to get a little wild, in a good way. But the quiet, the time to myself, that’s about to shift drastically, so I will have this time without question.
